Sleep-Related Diseases

There's growing evidence that poor sleep can foster diseases that shorten life, says Fred Turek, director of the Center for Sleep and Circadian Biology at Northwestern University School of Medicine. Sleep problems can lead to biological changes that cause weight gain, increase diabetes risk, promote heart disease and worsen depression.

Memory and mental performance also suffer with poor sleep. That's worrisome in older people because sleep-related problems can mimic dementia and might lead to misdiagnosis, Ancoli-Israel says. "Most doctors would never think of sleep as a cause here because so many are unaware."

Joke Of The Day

This millionaire wanted take some of his money to heaven with him when he died, so he talked to God about it beforehand. He told God that he had lived a good life and all he wanted was to bring a little of his fortune with him. God finally agreed, but told the millionaire he must limit the amount to whatever he could fit into one suitcase.

The millionaire decided to make the most of it by comparing American dollars, French Francs, Japenese Yen, and every kind of currency available in the world to see to it that he fit the most possible into the suitcase. Finally, he decided the best he could do was to exchange his money for gold and place that in the suitcase.

When he died and arrived at Heaven's gate, St. Peter asked him what was in the suitcase. He told St. Peter that down on earth he had been a millionaire and that God had given him permisson to bring some of his fortune with him, as long as he could fit it into one suitcase.

St. Peter told the millionaire this was most unusual and he would have to take a look inside the suitcase before he could determine whether the millionaire could enter the gate with it. The millionaire opened the suitcase and St. Peter said, "Oh, yes. That's just pavement, please come in!" 
16 Biblical ways to aquire a wife

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. -- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

Find a prostitute and marry her. -- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. -- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. -- David (1Samuel 18:27)

Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) -- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). -- David (2 Samuel 11)

Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). -- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. -- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

A wife?...NOT!!! -- Paul (1Corinthians 7:32-35)

Become sinless, and die in atonement for others, and you can marry a whole bunch of people. -- Jesus (Revelation 15?)
 Bubba went to a psychiatrist. I've got problems.?
 Every time I go  to bed I think there's somebody
under it. I'm scared.? I Think I'm  going crazy.
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the Doctor  and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
 "How much do you charge?"
 "Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor."

 "I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.
Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street.
 "Why didn't you ever come to see about those fears  you were  having?" asked the psychiatrist.
 "Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a
 year is an  awful lot of money!? My mechanic cured  me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that  money I went and bought me a new pickup!"
 "Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a auto mechaic cure you?"
 "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't
nobody under there  now!!!"

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. 

Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign...and somebody was standing in front of the "S"! 

The Army of the Lord

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door 
as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. 

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" 

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." 
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't "see you except at Christmas and Easter?" 

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service.

           The Oil Find

Two old friends met one day after many years. 
One attended college, and now was very successful. 
The other had not attended college and never had much ambition. 

The successful one said, "How has everything been going with you?" 

"Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. 
So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. 
Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. 
So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. 
Now, I'm as rich as Rockefeller." 

The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, 
flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page. 
He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, "Chapter Eleven." 



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